Flying Together
Do you have a story about flying together? We'd like to share it with other AOPA members. Please e-mail us your story — with photos if you have them — to post on this page.
It can work very, very well. We were both avid sailors prior to getting married. We sailed together prior to kids, cruising from Florida to Canada. Then the kids arrived with a two-hour endurance. That meant whatever sport, activity, or family event; kids really needed a rest, change, runaround, and diversion after two hours.
While I had always flown for work (I'm an engineer in the field of small public drinking water systems), flying really seemed a family vacation activity. Here was our choice: Two hours in the car on Friday evening could get us into the thickest slowest traffic gridlock; two hours in the Cessna 182 could take us from pacific coast to Nevada desert or to the heart of coastal redwood and we could be home in only two hours if necessary.
Nancy never does takeoffs or landings; she does most of the en route — all the radio work and 95% of destination choice. We definitely have a division of labor when it comes to flying operations: I'm not allowed to pack or unpack or do weight and balance. Fuel endurance, altitude and weather are her domain with input from me when asked. Only issue is that I miss her when I'm flying for work.
Fremont, California
My husband is an ex-Army officer and very comfortable with maps. When I fly a cross-country with him, I highlight the route on the appropriate chart. He follows the route and helps identify landmarks if we are VFR. He checks frequencies and radials when IFR. He is also great at spotting traffic. This is a big help.
When we plan a vacation to new areas, he reminds me to "get an airplane" so that we can have our own personal sightseeing tour. Last summer, we enjoyed sightseeing over and around the island of Maui. My first flight instructor gave me the tip for sightseeing. Now my husband really enjoys flying with me and he encourages me to get additional ratings.
Galloway, New Jersey
A few years ago, my wife achieved her pilot license through the AOPA mentor program. We had been flying for 30 years together before this. Now that our children are grown, she shares the cockpit duties and we trade flight time. It has made an incredible difference in our love of flying.
We have refurbished our Piper Turbo Dakota and we now fly it to destinations as our personal RV. Overnight trips to resort destinations are commonplace and fun. We share navigation skills, decision-making on weather issues, and make go and no-go decisions together. I highly recommend it to couples that fly together.
The increased knowledge that two people bring to the cockpit allows for an added safety margin, as there is always a co-pilot with the skills to fly and land the airplane. The additional knowledge also allows your spouse to share in the flying as opposed to flying without the understanding of the aircraft, charts, and ATC.
The pictures are of our newly painted and upholstered aircraft. We are looking forward to using our airplane in retirement and flying around our beautiful country.
Los Angeles, California
I started flying in 1974, receiving my private pilot license in 1975 out of Long Beach Municipal Airport in Long Beach, California. I flew rental airplanes for two years and finally gave up, as my first wife would have nothing to do with it. My marriage finally fell apart and we eventually divorced.
I eventually remarried in 2001. A co-worker told me about his family airplane, a 1948 Stinson 108. He invited us for a flight. I was not too interested but told my new wife about it. Up to this point, I had not talked to her about flying, although she was aware that I held a pilot certificate. She was thrilled about the offer and asked if she thought my friend might let her fly the airplane.
The day of the flight, we drove up to his hangar at the airport in Santa Paula, California. Outside his hangar was the beautifully restored Stinson. I rode in the back seat and my wife rode in the front passengers seat. The flight was an hour long. We flew north along the Pacific Ocean towards Santa Barbara and then through the Ojai Valley and back to Santa Paula. Before arriving back at the airport though, he turned over the controls to my wife and had her do a few slow turns. That's all it took. My wife was hooked. For the next week, all she could talk about was that flight. What the heck, for Christmas that year, I got her a gift certificate for $500 worth of lessons, just to see if she was really going to like it. Well, you guessed it — she loved it and that was that.
With a little help from the Cardinal Flyers organization, my wife and I bought a 1970 Cessna Cardinal 177B. Six months later, my wife received her certificate and we were in business. We have been flying together for almost four years now. In general, my wife flies and I navigate. Because of our jobs, we do not get to fly as much as we would like but we have flown in Arizona, Nevada, Utah and much of central and Southern California.
When I am flying, my wife loves to tell me what to do during each phase of the flight. I just keep a big smile on my face. And of course, while she is flying, I do the same. She usually tells my to "keep my mouth shut over there" and that she flies better anyway. We often have landing contests and each of us usually claim to be the winner, although I admit; she does land that Cardinal pretty well.
I think our success in flying together started long before we started flying. It started with us simply working on our marriage from day one. We share various hobbies like skydiving and antiquing and now we share the love of flying together. We help each other with the duties of flying, which makes things in the cockpit go much easier and makes flying that much more fun. We also share what we learn from reading the various flying magazines and encourage each other to keep up our education on flying. I love nothing more than an airplane adventure with my wife. My advice is to go for it!
Linda Weber AOPA 4741654
Ventura, California
My wife Christine and I are both pilots. When we were dating I took her up flying as she followed along my own flying lessons with some interest. While we were flying VFR on a beautiful day over Lake George in upstate New York she took the controls of my old Cessna182 and pulled up immediately, thinking she needed to "hold the airplane up." We still laugh about that flight! She started lessons immediately in San Francisco (where we now live) concerned that she might not be the "type" to become a pilot but wanting to learn enough to be helpful in the cockpit. She was quickly hooked, got her private license and is now working on her instrument rating. She is exceedingly procedural — I have never seen her miss a checklist. She still is more comfortable in a Cessna 172 than our Mooney Ovation but that will change with time. We got our seaplane ratings together and had a blast. She was more nervous about me being in the backseat for her check ride than the ride itself.
As for how we get along aloft, it is simply wonderful. We really use CRM. We know who is PIC at all times, and since we know each other so well there's an inherent trust and ease that we bring into the airplane. Once, a few years ago, we were flying my dad up from Naples, Florida to visit a friend in Sarasota, Florida, and Christine was doing the flying. We noticed considerable gustiness, as we got closer to the runway. About 25 feet away from the runway, she got nervous and shouted "your airplane" and I took over and landed. Very few co-pilots could fly together so seamlessly! While I have more experience flying, and more ratings, including ATP, CFI, CFII and MEI, she is very organized so she makes the better FO of the two of us while we are in the air or when planning a trip. We have taken many fun trips and are looking forward to doing a full cross-country flight over the Continental Divide later this summer to bring our airplane back to San Francisco.
I suppose the only "challenge" we have is working on Christine's instrument rating. She is very bright and her own worst critic. Teaching your spouse can be difficult, heck teaching anyone instrument flying is difficult. But we have the benefit of time. She is in no rush. And with our airplane and relationship, it isn't as if she is staring at the Hobbs meter. Speaking of which: We have two Beagles — Hobbs and Amelia. They are both young pups but have already flown with us.
I would recommend flying with your spouse to anyone. I like to kid that I couldn't have married her if she weren't a pilot. Like all jokes, there is an element of truth in that. I would find it very difficult to be so passionate about something and not share it with the one I love the most. Of course, she retorts that she got a lifetime of BFRs for walking down the aisle so it clearly works well for us both. Flying is so wonderful and often incredibly beautiful. To not share it would be a shame.
Last note, we were recently married and the wedding cake topper was a specially made Mooney model with the two of us in it, with our flying hounds — an awesome touch!
Christine Cardace Sullivan AOPA 3947358
San Francisco, California
I was my husband's flight instructor. We flew the Sleeping Giant Flying Club's Mooney from Helena, Montana, to Kitty Hawk for the 2003 "100 year of flight celebration" and on our way home at the fuel pump at Mobridge, South Dakota, Bill asked me to marry him.
We bought a J-model Bonanza and flew the preacher and his wife into Meadow Creek, a beautiful Montana backcountry airstrip. We were married along the South Fork of the Flathead River on June 21, 2004. A bear showed up for the wedding celebration!
Our airplane and flying together take us on many wonderful adventures. We share flight duties and take turns being the pilot in command. Just recently, over the 4th of July, we flew to Roche Harbor an airstrip and a resort on the San Juan Islands. I flew to Roche Harbor and Bill flew the return trip to Helena. We have folding mountain bikes that fit in the airplane and we used them to circumnavigate the island.
Bill Gallea AOPA 4551006
Helena, Montana
The main reason my first marriage did not work out was primarily because my wife was terrified of airplanes. I chose to get my primary instruction in secret to preserve my peace and quiet at home. As I moved on to becoming a flight instructor, the void between us grew.
My current marriage started with a business associate, who wanted to learn to fly to impress her boyfriend. The boyfriend did not work out but she continued to take instruction and we established a good relationship with flying being one of our common interests.
Now we are partners in a very nice small motor glider and she is so active in aviation that this year she is managing the National Soaring Society of America booth at Oshkosh.
Life is good when you fly together.
Troy, Illinois
It was a nice summer day. My wife and I were returning from a fly-in at Skiatook, Oklahoma. It happened to be our wedding anniversary. We were en route to Muskogee, Oklahoma, where we live. My wife had soloed our Cessna 170B and had about 35 hours.
I contacted Tulsa approach and was given a squawk code, and I proceeded on course. I have flown this route hundreds of times and on rare occasions ATC forgets that I am out there. We were about eight nautical miles north of Muskogee Davis field when I decided that ATC had forgotten about me. So I changed the squawk to twelve hundred. As soon as I did, my wife the copilot informed me that I could not do that. Being a seasoned pilot, I informed her that I knew what I was doing. No sooner had I explained my actions, than a Tulsa controller called and asked if I had changed my squawk code. I told the controller that I had because I thought he had forgotten about us. I continued to tell him my wife had said I couldn't do that. He said that he was going to get me in closer to Muskogee before he would turn me loose and added, "Next time listen to your wife." This remark made my co-pilot smile ear to ear, and I could see I was not going to hear the last of this. A few minutes passed and our controller contacted us and said, "Muskogee twelve o-clock, five miles, and if you can't find it ask your wife!" This was the best anniversary gift my wife could have ever received.
Muskogee, Oklahoma
My wife and I are both flight instructors and multi-engine drivers, and we typically share the driving duties when flying together. I discovered early on though that being in the right seat is not an invitation to play flight instructor with the occupant of the left seat. There is but one Capitan aboard any flight. As I was once admonished upon return to earth by she-who-must-be-obeyed (with her hands on her hips and glaring at me): "If you're not going to talk to me in your bedroom voice, don't bother talking to me at all!" Now I'm a good little copilot; I talk on the radio when I have to, read checklists when asked to, and bring the Captain candy.
Canton, Georgia
While I was building the required cross-country time while working toward my instrument rating, I would usually fly solo but on occasion I would ask some friends if they would like to come along. However, I had noticed a tall, attractive blonde named "Ivy" at church who did not seem to be dating anyone at the time. Through the course of conversation I found out that she had attended a college close to where I would be flying a cross country. I worked up the courage to ask her if she would like to "see" here alma mater from above on a flight with me. Much to my surprise, she accepted! I told her that I could fly over to an airport close to her apartment and pick her up for the flight. The short flight from my home airport at Shelbyville, Indiana (GEZ) to Metro Airport (UMP) went very well and as I taxied up to the FBO, there was Ivy waiting at the gate. I gave her a briefing on the flight and we departed toward Marion, Indiana (MZZ). It was a very sunny day, but the air was smooth and Ivy seemed to really enjoy the flight as I pointed out various landmarks along the way and explained what I was doing as we flew along. I had even brought along some mini candy bars for passenger in-flight snacks!
As we returned to Shelbyville, I asked Ivy if she wanted to "fly" the airplane with me. I showed her how to fly straight and level along with some simple turns. Upon landing at Shelbyville, the FBO owner's wife was quite surprised to see a tall, attractive blonde unfold from the Archer, as I almost always flew solo! That was February 22, 1998. On December 24, 1998 we were engaged and 4 months later on April 24, 1999 we were married.
I continued on to get my Commercial, CFI, CFII, multi-engine, and MEI with Ivy's support and encouragement. Ivy, while not wanting to get her pilot license, still likes to fly with me. We are now blessed with a wonderful 4 1/2 year daughter who also loves to fly with her "daddy" in our Super Decathlon for a pancake breakfast on Saturday mornings. We also have a two-year old son who is waiting for his turn to fly when he is out of diapers.
Indianapolis, Indiana
My wife, Beverly, has been flying with me since I got my license in 1959. In those 47 years of flying I don't ever recall a time that she had any apprehension, because she knows that I am a cautious pilot and do my homework before every flight.
We have flown our 1958 Beech Baron from Virginia across the United States, and up to Alaska, and as far South as Tortolla in the Virgin Islands.
One summer when it was a very hot 96-degrees in Virginia Beach, I said to Bev, "Let's start flying north until the temperature drops to 72 degrees." In Maine it was still 83, in Nova Scotia the temperature dropped to 79, and finally we had to fly into Western Newfoundland where it was a comfortable 72. We stayed a week and had a wonderful time traveling that area.
We have flown together across Australia twice in a Cessna 172 as part of a group of seven airplanes. Flying into remote dirt airstrips in the outback and spending the night on sheep ranches was a fabulous adventure. For this trip Bev took about 15 hours of flight training in a C 172. The airplanes had no autopilot, but she was able to fly from the right seat so I could take in some of the fabulous sights.
Today, in our retirement years, we regularly fly between Norfolk — our home in Virginia. Beach — and our place in Boca Raton, Florida. We also make short flights to the Bahamas. As long as I am able to pass the physical, Beverly and I will be winging our way wherever fun and adventure beckon.
Virginia Beach, Virginia
If you're interested in information about wives and husbands who fly together you should visit our airport and talk with the "Airport Gang." We have five couples that fly! We're a close-knit group who take every opportunity to fly together out of Lawrence County, Ohio (HTW). We travel to fly-ins, and on $100-hamburger and weekend trips.
Our relationships with our pilot spouses are wonderful but the question of who's PIC has come up often! There definitely has to be a "give and take" in the cockpit the same as in marriage. My husband in particular, is a great pilot who flies a tail dragger like it's easy. We usually take turns flying with occasional "tips" from each other — usually about sighted traffic or obstructions. Flying with my husband is a wonderful pastime that I enjoy as often as possible.
Huntington, West Virginia
My wife Lynda and I are contract charter crew on Diamond Jets and King Airs. We also operate a glider tow business, towing sailplanes at various contests in the southeast and at a yearly wave camp in Marion, North Carolina. (She recently set the North Carolina absolute altitude record with Jayne Reid from Bermuda High Soaring.) I taught her to fly about six years ago. According to a flight crew broker in Boston, we are one of only a handful of husband and wife Part 135 flight crews.
Lynda Lee LaBerge
Concord, Georgia
My husband received his certificate in July, 2001 — I got mine in June, 2005. Because of a knee replacement in September, I have not flown nearly enough. But when we flew to a wedding in Eureka, California — we fly out of Anacortes, Washington (74S) — I flew the first leg to Corvallis, and then my husband flew to Medford (we diverted). I had enough confidence through training to say, "Divert" when Flight Watch told us fog was predicted to form at Eureka about the time we were scheduled to land. On the way back, I flew home from Tillamook. Only problems arose while we flew south. I was on Flight Following and he decided to listen to an AWOS station. I missed the calls from Seattle and was scolded. Other problem was on downwind for our home field when he decided to fold the sectional and flipped it up so I couldn't see the field.
On a recent flight over the North Cascades, I navigated and handled Flight service and Flight watch. He has said that I am a great copilot. I must add that we have been married almost 35 years and have 30 years of boating experience. Consequently, we have not had to fight battles in the air — they were fought long ago sailing and anchoring a 30' sailboat! He doesn't yell (too loud) and I don't whine or nag (too much).
Anacortes, Washington
While my wife of 42 years doesn't share my passion for flying she does appreciate the time saved on a trip and not sitting through interminable traffic delays for accidents, construction, congestion, or simple design ignorance. The best part is she understands how important flying and aircraft ownership is to me, and tolerates it with unfailing good humor. I can sum up her aviation experience in a few words..."She has about 3,000 hours asleep in the right seat!"
Jacksonville, Florida
My wife is my favorite passenger. She has flown many hours with me over the last six to seven years and after the initial hesitation remains convinced she would rather fly in our Mooney than any passenger airline (I have to agree).
My spouse also tells other first time passengers as to what to expect. If at all possible we fly at the best time of day in the best weather to give a good first impression. In June, 2006, she got her sister to fly for the first time, and in a separate flight back from her family beach-outing in Topsail, North Carolina, she got three first time flyers (including a really first time ever flyer) ready to take the hour return flight. She drove four hours with all the stuff.
That's not only a great passenger, but also a true private aviation ambassador.
Greensboro, North Carolina
In 1992, I began flying again. I learned to fly and became a private pilot ten years earlier, before I met my wife. In 1987, my wife was pregnant with our first child and encouraged me to give up flying for a while. Then in 1992, we were building a vacation home some three and a half hours from our home. It was only a 75-minute flight, though, with the airport in Chester, California, in close proximity to our construction site. So, after seven hours of dual flight instruction, I was back in the air in a Grumman Tiger.
Shortly after regaining my wings, my niece in Fresno was having her first birthday party. This is a two-and-a-half-hour drive, but only a one-hour flight. I issued the edict that we were flying to the party. My wife said to me, "I am confident in your abilities, but what if something goes wrong with the airplane," subscribing to the misconception that an airplane will fall out of the sky with the slightest abnormality. I told her we had the whole central valley to land in. I explained to her again about the glide ratio, and I reviewed my recent training and emergency procedures with her.
So after being convinced, we flew happily to Fresno with my son and daughter in the back seat of the Tiger. At the party, there was much discussion about our method of arrival and the usual, "How was the flight?" question. My response was, "Uneventful, just like I like it." On our return trip, it seemed my wife had a self-fulfilling prophecy. Over a reservoir, she said the engine did not sound right. I heard what sounded like an exhaust leak but all the engine instruments were in normal range. The noise rapidly became louder, and then the engine began to lose power. I diverted to Oakdale while examining the shoreline of the reservoir and contemplating a landing there — should the engine quit. We arrived at the threshold of the runway at Oakdale with 4,500 feet of altitude in the bank. I made 360-degree turns over the threshold and had an uneventful landing. I did add a little power on final, more as a nervous reaction than a need for speed. The airplane shook violently as a result of the cracked cylinder not producing power and causing an unbalanced situation.
On the ground, I called the owner of the FBO where I rented the airplane. He came to pick us up in his Piper Seneca. My wife was a little reluctant to get in the airplane. We flew home without a glitch. I was, of course, enthusiastic, as I had never been in a light twin before.
I recently completed my instrument rating and now fly a Cessna 206. We recently flew to San Diego to retrieve my daughter from her first year at the university. I have heard my bride on numerous occasions sing the praises of the three-hour flight to San Diego versus the nine-hour drive. I think she is sold but it's been a long journey.
Lodi, California
I fly for American Airlines, my husband flies for Continental Airlines. We have an RV-8 that my husband built for me, and unfortunately he likes to fly it too. In the past, we have tried to divide the flying duties as we do at work; one person flies, the other talks on the radio. In addition, the non-flying pilot has the job of holding our dogs (two Yorkshire Terriers) during critical phases of flight. We have traveled to Sun-n-Fun twice and on some other long trips. The bottom line: We don't fly well together. Actually, my husband is considering building another RV-8. That would be good. I've always said we fly the best when we are flying in two separate airplanes.
West Ossipee, New Hampshire
My husband and I decided to get our pilot licenses as a way to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. (We'll have 28 years in September.) He now, affectionately calls me a "left seat hog." As stressful as it is to decide who is going to be PIC, it hasn't hurt our marriage.
We did ground school together and used the same CFI for flight training. Buck finished his private training about six months before I did. When we each pursued our next ratings, he went for a multi and I did my instrument. Two months ago we both got our seaplane ratings. (Aside from my noise reduction head set, it was the best Mother's Day present I've ever gotten.)
In spite of our love of flying, we don't often fly together, but we intend to fix that soon. Part of our difficulty has been our indecision as to what type of aircraft we should own. I've always been more of a land based sort of flyer, and he just loves the water, so if our pocketbook can afford it (last child is currently in college), we hope to own an amphibian sooner rather than later.
Speaking of children, ours were slightly baffled by our intense desire to learn to fly. Buck did his first solo cross country the same day I soloed, and that night at dinner we were "off the charts" excited about our accomplishments. Our younger daughter sat across the table listening to us babble like kids who just took their road tests and said, "You guys are sooooo boring!" As time has passed, however, they have come to see us as fairly unique. Most daughters don't have both a dad and a mom who fly airplanes. I once visited one of the girls at college and had to decline an invitation to a frat party because I had to fly the next day.
One of the best parts of being pilots is the wonderful pilot friends (and their spouses) we've made, and over the past few years, most of the people we fly with are involved in seaplane flying of one sort or another. There's nothing like swimming off the floats of a Cessna 172 in Moosehead Lake with your flying buddies!
Another great part about both of us being pilots is sharing knowledge and experiences. We've always had a marriage that was a team effort and flying together works that way, too. Our strengths and weaknesses complement each other. I love navigation and the radios, but he can nail a landing like the best of them. I fly because it's the ultimate spiritual connection; he flies because "it's a guy thing" and "because he can." I could watch airplanes all day long and marvel at their beauty; he needs to watch the ground moving beneath him and get to some place exciting.
As a couple, flying has brought us closer together and closer to special people. It has been, and continues to be, a wonderful gift, and we'll never truly be able to express our gratitude to those who introduced us to flying, taught us to fly, and still share those special moments with us today. There is nothing better than dancing among the clouds and kissing the sky with good friends, especially when they include your spouse.
Edwin F. Allen III AOPA 1412157
Fairport, New York
I have been flying for about 27 years, averaging something like 300 hours a year of mostly business flying. My wife has always been a nervous flyer and for some reason has become increasing anxious about flying over the last few years. It is clouds that cause her problems. Claustrophobic, I guess.
Her fear is real; no doubt about it, and it does me no good to just say it is in her head. So, here is what I do when she is flying with me. I may file an IFR plan, but I know I have to stay clear of the clouds, anyway, if she is aboard. She has got to be able to see blue sky or the ground, and I have got to make sure that she does not worry about me deciding to fly into a cloud. I have asked for deviations from ATC more times when she is flying with me than I have in actual weather. I will not descend through the clouds to a VFR field, for example. She knows that I will not fly into a thunderstorm, but it still makes her nervous when she sees the lightening bolts on the Stormscope display even two hundred miles away. So, I tell her that we will either go around them, above them, turn 180- degrees or land. It does not matter though: If she can see thunderstorm activity she becomes stressed by anxiety. If necessary, I will land.
I have a pretty fabulous sound-system in the aircraft, so I have purchased CDs and DVDs with some of her favorite music and movies. The music works well in the cockpit, distracting her and making the time go more quickly. I will isolate myself from the intercom so the radio does not interrupt her listening program, although she does not mind the interruptions too much. If there are people in the back and she is riding back there, a movie is heaven-sent. I close the window curtains and draw the curtain between the cockpit and the cabin so they can watch the movie. I will go through stable air masses, stratus clouds, if she is in the back with friends watching a movie.
If there is a business trip, which involves weather, and I do not have the luxury of landing and waiting out a passing storm, I just tell her that this is not the flight for her. She is still anxious when I am out there flying, but I make a point to call her and tell her that I am all right, one of the blessings of a cell phone. Furthermore, I have her track my IFR flight on the computer. It gives her peace.
By the way, the first time I had her track my flight on the Internet, she did not realize she had to refresh the screen to see the progress of the flight, so she thought I had crashed over the Sierra Nevada's en route from Phoenix to Sacramento. That was a bad day.
I wish there was a simple solution for this problem. It may be irrational, but it is as real as real can be. I used to think that going to a bigger airplane — pressurized, galley, potty, air-conditioned — would go a long way toward solving this problem. Nope. It is the sight of those clouds. I will pay a lot if someone can come up with a solution for this.
Phoenix, Arizona
Sure spouses, who are both pilots, can share the same cockpit and remain friends. A lot depends on your relationship outside of flying.
Our first date (a blind date) was at the University of Missouri in 1966. We went to a football game and then I told my date I was taking her to dinner at a restaurant at the Lake of the Ozarks (over 100 miles away). She was concerned because she had to be back to the women's dorm before midnight when they locked the doors. I said, "No problem, we're flying there." Anyway we had a great evening and I had her home on time.
Many of our subsequent dates involved flying — mostly in Cessna 120's and 140's, sometimes doing spins, etc. As you can see Becky wasn't afraid of flying however her father wasn't so sure about the idea. We were married in 1968, before I finished med school, and we had our first child in 1969. Flying slowed down a little as I finished residency and was in the Army for two years.
We decided to buy an airplane after we moved to California and entered private practice. After much study we decided on a new 1981 Mooney 231 (now modified to a 252). Once we bought the airplane and were flying more, we felt it would be a good idea if Becky took some lessons to learn how to fly and land (at least that was the original plan). She soloed and was having such a good time that she went on to get her private pilot license. Now we can be great help to each other while flying — it's like having a two "man" crew.
Penngrove, California
I have a fun story about my wife (Connie) getting her private pilot certificate. Family flying started about ten years ago when my son, Matt, won a scholarship from the Evergreen Aviation Museum to get his certificate, which he did at age 16. I flew with him until he left for college, at which time I decided I wanted to continue to fly, and I got my private pilot certificate and bought an airplane with a friend a year later.
Connie flew with Matt and me, but only as a way to get somewhere faster than to drive. Then two years ago in September, she took a job in the office at the local FBO (MMV). Unbeknownst to us, part of the requirement to work at the FBO was to be a pilot or be taking lessons. I knew nothing of this, but I did notice that she asked lots of aviation-related questions, every chance she had. I thought this was to get up to speed at work. Then at Christmas I opened a package and found her logbook in it. Both my kids and my dad knew about the 4-month flying lesson progress, but kept if from me. She got her private pilot certificate last fall and then her high-performance rating so she could fly our Cessna 182C. To help her confidence, I flew right seat with a CFI until I was comfortable handling the plane from there. Now we split flying time. It is great — it doesn't take much for me to convince Connie to go flying, I have the fun of helping her increase her proficiency, and I get to spend more time looking out the window at the scenery. Win-win in my book.
Amity, Oregon
I was always a nervous passenger in our Bonanza. Then my husband had a near fatal heart attack! I thought I'd better learn to land the airplane!!
I spoke to a flight instructor regarding the AOPA Air Safety Foundation Pinch Hitter course. He knew me fairly well and said, "You sail; you know navigation, weather and radios. Go for the whole enchilada!" Reluctantly, I did. It was not easy. I thought of quitting several times but, with encouragement from my spouse and other women pilots, I managed to get my license.
We sold the Bonanza and bought a Piper Archer III. I am more comfortable in it, and I love it. Other pilots ask my husband, "How can you go from a Bonanza to a Piper?" His reply (as a retired airline pilot) is, "I went from a 737 to a Bonanza, so the Piper is just a baby step back."
My instruction was all done by CFIs other than my husband, which was good. Now, as I contemplate an instrument rating, he instructs me very calmly. He lets me fly most of the time but does keep current. Having two pilots makes the trips easier and more enjoyable.
Killingworth, Connecticut
When seven years ago I told my wife that I was going to learn to fly (that's how I wanted to celebrate my mid-life crisis), the conversation went something like this:
Me: "Honey, I'm going to take flying lessons."
Her: "Oh no you're not!"
Me: "Yeah, it's something I've always wanted to do. I really want to learn to fly."
Her: "Oh no you're not!"
Me: "C'mon honey, this is important to me."
Her: (silence...then) "Fine. But I'll never fly with you. The girls will never fly with you."
Me: "OK, I understand."
But I didn't really understand because I couldn't relate to her fear of flying, and she couldn't relate to my joy at taking the controls and climbing into the sky. About a year into my flying, I did convince her to take a five-minute hop from Burbank Airport (now Bob Hope) to Van Nuys and back. She stepped out of the airplane and said, "OK, I've flown with you. Now get off my back."
I accepted defeat gracefully and fully gave up on having my wife at my side during my aerial adventures. That was until I bought my Bonanza — a beautiful, powerful 1957 H-35. My wife was impressed with the size of it compared to the Cherokees I had been renting. She said it felt more like a "real airplane." Still she didn't venture up. But I now had hope.
About three months into owning the Bonanza, a friend and I decided to hop over to Laughlin (Bullhead City) for lunch and a bit of gambling. In the Bonanza, it was less than an hour-and-a-half each way. When I got home around 4 o'clock, my wife asked me what I had done during the day. I said I had flown to Laughlin for lunch. Her jaw nearly hit the floor. Until that moment, she thought of flying merely as a daredevil act performed by amateurs. But now, she saw it for what, in part, it was for me: a flying carpet. Vegas in an hour-and-a-half, Santa Barbara in 30 minutes, San Francisco in two hours. "Well," she said, "I might go with you sometime." BANG, POW, KABOOM! This was a breakthrough of historic proportions.
A few weeks later, I suggested we fly up to Santa Barbara and have lunch at the famous Beachside Cafe, which is in walking distance from the runway, right on the sand. The weather was great, the sky was clear, and she actually loved the adventure — not the flying as much as the ability to go somewhere fun and exotic at twice or three times the speed of a car.
Since then, she has flown with me, sometimes a bit reluctantly, to Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, San Luis Obispo, and other interesting destinations. And she has even allowed my girls (now 17 and 20) to go up with me. She has even taken a few "pinch hitter" flight lessons, since we both want her to have some proficiency in the right seat were anything to happen to me while flying. I can't say that she'll ever be completely comfortable in the air with me, or as anxious as I to find new flying destinations. But she's a trooper, and she has even gotten past her fear of turbulence.
So I consider myself quite a lucky aviator, knowing my wife is behind me, and occasionally beside me.
Northridge, California
I have thought about flying since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I love to fly. My wife has flown with me a few times. Once, a four-hour flight to North Carolina to see the grand kids, and once to Key West (1.5 hours), which she seemed to enjoy. She is 65 and I am 62. She will no longer fly. Her excuse is that she does not enjoy flying but my suspicion is that she is scared of dying so much that she will not take any unnecessary chases. I on the other hand enjoy a little chance taking.
I would love to take a flying tour of the United States, especially out west and the plain states, Idaho, etc. but I do not want to go alone.
Do you have any suggestions as to what I can do to get my wife to fly with me? I am getting desperate. I have even thought of taking her to a hypnotist and telling him to give her suggestions that she loves to fly. Of course I would tell her we were going for something else like weight loss. HELP!!!
Winter Haven, Florida
After taking delivery of my first airplane, a Mooney 231, it was time to demonstrate the expanded "get-a-way" capabilities to my wife Susan. What you need to know is that in her teenage years, she was involved in a Beech (twin) crash and injured her back. Prior to me knowing her, she had taken air travel de-sensitivity training just to get on an airliner. In our travels by airline in the first nine years of marriage, she would sit in the isle seat with her head buried in a magazine and never look outside.
Our first trip was to Cedar City, Utah, to go to a mountain village for the 4th of July. The trip going over at 12,500 feet was uneventful. She actually was enjoying the sites out the window. One minor glitch in the first re-introduction to GA arose in the approach to Cedar City —the wind was 15 knots, gusting to 25 knots across the runway. I had no choice but to make a good approach or go to an alternate. As it was not exceptionally turbulent, I briefed Susan on the approach and what to expect. This was a textbook approach: on final stabilized at Vref +5, crab angle set, and on centerline. I kicked out the crab angle over the numbers and finished with a soft touchdown. I looked over at Susan, who had been silent during the last minute, and I saw her with eyes tightly shut and hands over her face — she had missed the whole demonstration.
In the seven years following her re-introduction to GA, we have used the Mooney to travel to weekend getaways and mini vacations in Colorado, California, and New Mexico. On a few occasions we had to wait out weather. That didn't go well at first, but Susan now knows that this is a safety issue and can accept it. As far as Susan and operation of the aircraft, she would rather be an "active passenger." I made a challenge-response checklist and she performs the duties of copilot in all phases. In climbs and descent from cruise, she monitors and calls traffic. It did take some training for her not to call the airliner at FL330 at 25 mi. She even wants to help washing and waxing.
We have a win-win relationship with the Mooney in our family. I get to fly, Susan gets to travel, and we have a great deal of pleasure together.
Phoenix, Arizona
Over time my husband and I have learned to peacefully share the cockpit. After years of criticizing each other for our flying skills — or lack of them as the right seat pilot saw things — we have agreed to keep our thoughts to ourselves unless the situation warrants a copilot comment. We both love to fly and our new system has made flying much more pleasant. When we arrive at our destination now we have an enjoyable time because we are not angry at each other. It has been a long time since I have heard my husband say, "My wife is letting me fly her airplane." PIC now means I am pilot in command and not pain in the...at least not in the cockpit. We still have strange logbook entries with one take off and one landing for a round trip since typically whoever flies left seat on the outbound leg is in the right seat on the return trip. Communication, patience, and 43 years of marriage have created clear, calm skies and happier flying.
Oxford, Connecticut
After two years of having my private pilot license and several months after buying my own helicopter, my spouse still refuses to fly. She blames everything: her fear of heights (acquired two years ago, I believe since she was a roller coaster fanatic with the higher being the better), her fear of flying (acquired two years ago as well), her fear of small airplanes and helicopters (also acquired two years ago, since she never sat in a small airplane or helicopter until then), the fact we have two young children, or the weather, the wind, a story she just heard, a friend that told her about a friend, a plane crash in Iraq, no parachutes, etc....
Meanwhile, I fly each weekend with the kids, grandparents, friends, and strangers and share beautiful West Palm Beach, Florida, at 500 ft agl with everyone in my world but the most important person, my wife. The ocean, inter-coastal, beaches, and homes on the coastline here are beautiful. My new angle of persuasion is for her to consider learning herself how to fly since we own a Robinson R44. I've only been working this angle for a few weeks, and I don't see any wear on her part yet as I continue to try.
Lake Worth, Florida
I never knew what it meant to be a sports widow as my husband is not into sports. However, I feel like I'm an aviation widow except that I'm the one that flies and my husband could care less about where I'm going. Presently, I am on target to complete my private pilot certificate within the next two months. When I first started my flight lessons, I was ecstatic about flying anywhere, period. I still am. I thought my husband, Sam, would jump on the bandwagon but to him flying is a means to an end — get from point A to point B in a shorter amount of time. Yes, that's one of the many benefits of flying, but there is a much grander, spiritual view to flying. Authors often write about it.
I started my training at Hackettstown (N05), a small and beautiful country airport in New Jersey. Its charm is precious and having soloed there is a memory forever etched in my mind. My friend, Jenny, took me on many flying adventures: up the Hudson Corridor past Lady Liberty, Martha's Vineyard, and Block Island, to name a few. Each time I was invited, I eagerly asked my husband to come along — ah, the joys of flying to a new place. He quickly declined by saying, "Eh, what do I want to fly there for?"
Whenever I've taken lessons to simply fly around the pattern, I am still thrilled about being in the airplane and seeing life from a different perspective. Whenever I invite him, he replies, "Christina, asking me to fly the pattern with you is like asking me to get in my car and drive around the block. What's the point in that?" I even thought that I would entice him into flying because he has this thing for Superman. Superman has been one of Sam's favorite superheroes since childhood. I tried to "package" flying lessons to him as an opportunity to be like Superman. I thought for sure it would work. He took one lesson on November 12, 2005, at Morristown Airport (MMU). He won the discovery flight at a Pennies-a-Pound charity event of The Ninety-Nines. I was thrilled, hoping he would want to join me. That day, he took his flight lesson and I came along for the ride. I didn't want to miss out on such a grand event. Except that to him it was "just another thing to do."
Either way, I was glad to have been a part of it; in hopes that that would be the day he got hooked on flying. His delayed flight made me late to my lesson. As it turns out, when I finally made it to Hackettstown on that same day, I soloed!
So, I keep inviting him to fly in hopes that something will change. However, reality kicks in and I know that it's just not for him. That saddens me. Flying is such a great privilege and honor to share the sky with eagles, big birds (the "Heavies"), and see life from a higher perspective. It pushes you to grow deeper both personally and professionally. Flying boosts your confidence. Flying cuts your commute time to the shore (while you look down upon the Garden State Parkway and see the parking lot of cars on the highway). Flying introduces you to a select group of people who become your lifelong friends. Flying gives you the opportunity to travel at your own leisure without having to go through long lines at commercial airports. Flying is simply divine...and I wish my husband would see some glimpse of that and want to share it with me.
For now, I'll keep on flying and when we have children, I can hope that one of them will share my passion for aviation!
Denville, New Jersey
