As many of you are aware, a few short months ago my wife Lois joined the ranks of those of us holding private pilot certificates. Lots of ups and downs — weather problems, my travel schedule, and a desire for perfection on her part — made the journey a three-year experience for both of us. Truly, my role as Lois' mentor, and her trials and tribulations, taught us a lot about our flying relationship, as well as our marriage, and gave me many insights that have been used in the AOPA Project Pilot program. In this 10-month-old program, almost 10,000 student nominees are now registered, along with a similar number of AOPA mentors. The numbers indicate we will exceed our first-year goal for the program, but the success story closest to my heart ended when Lois announced to me that she had passed her checkride.
Throughout this experience, both of us have grown to realize that our love-hate relationship with flying is shared by many AOPA members and their spouses. Frankly, I had given up pressuring my wife to learn to fly years ago. She and I had shared some 2,500 flying hours over 12 years, and, like many spouses, Lois tolerated the right seat and flying because it was my avocation. Our trips became anxious pre-flight experiences for her, and often in-flight discussions (sometimes heated) would ensue during bad weather, turbulence, and unexpected circumstances. Often the cockpit conversation was more violent than the weather.
Yet, I must compliment her for her stamina and endurance. She even flew right seat on this pilot's adventure of a lifetime — a four-week trip to Europe in our airplane. There were several times on this trip several years ago when she insisted she would return by airliner, and I would have one of my pilot friends join me in Europe for the trip back across the Atlantic. Yet she stayed the course.
Shortly after completing that trip I became president of AOPA, and perhaps it was an avocation turned into a vocation that prompted her to book her first flight lesson at a local FBO — a total surprise to me. On the other hand, as her mentor, I was quick to point out that deciding to take a flying lesson wasn't a total commitment. I let her know there would be no remorse on my part if her interest waned or she didn't want to complete the course. On the other hand, she understood that every lesson gave her a better understanding of what she had seen over her many years and hours of flying.
Thanks to my video recounting of the events, those attending AOPA Pilot Town Meetings or AOPA Expo laughed at her early endeavors at learning to control an unfamiliar machine in a strange, three-dimensional environment. One of the biggest mistakes in the beginning was in attempting to teach my spouse to fly; that role is best left to a certificated flight instructor. Mentoring Lois taught me that all flight instructors are not created equal. But more important, not all students and flight instructors are compatible. Mentoring Lois, I found myself encouraging her to look for the "right" teacher on more than one occasion. While each of her three instructors was more than competent, her personal progress slowed during various phases, requiring me to push her to look for another instructor to reach the next level.
Finally, Keith, the instructor who saw her through solo cross- countries and her checkride preparation, was not only an excellent teacher, but an understanding friend. Concern over making such changes, particularly within the same flight school, often results in many students just giving up their training rather than taking the risk of offending an instructor.
Ups and downs, highs and lows, wet and dry eyes — all were a part of our three-year odyssey to Lois' pilot certificate. Lois threatened to quit more times than I could count, exclaiming she would never be able to fly. A good mentor should also be a good listener and indicate there is no pressure to continue. Such apprehension is common to all students. There were several times when I had to make "emergency" mentor calls, dropping whatever I was doing and attending to the psychological needs of my student.
Solo cross-countries required special treatment and were probably as trying on me as they were on Lois. After all these years of flying together it seemed strange to be waiting on the ground for my spouse to return from a trip. We took a couple of the trips together on weekends prior to her solo excursions. In addition, the best investment I made towards the solo phase was in a panel-mounted GPS receiver, giving her the backup advantage of distance, time, and a direct routing to the home airport or a fix. Why must students endure the complex learning of VOR radials, to/from needles, and magnetic courses? All that seems outdated, when they are merely earning the right to use today's modern equipment after getting a certificate.
There is also nothing that makes one feel so foolish as not being able to answer some of the questions on the private pilot written exam. In this case I'm not referring to my student, but to me, the mentor himself. It had been more than a quarter century since I took that test, and I am almost ashamed to admit that I found some of the questions difficult to answer. This phase of my AOPA Project Pilot experience was a good refresher for me, and Lois embarrassed me further by scoring 100 percent on the computerized exam. This was a huge confidence builder and a positive turning point for her, as was the completion of her solo cross-countries.
Passing her checkride was a great relief for both of us, and a tremendous accomplishment for my historically "white-knuckled" flying spouse. Many members and their spouses now seek her out for advice when we attend aviation events.
From a purely pragmatic standpoint, a flying companion who understands more about flight and cockpit activities will be far more willing to fly as a passenger. And, while we "macho" pilots are supposed to be able to keep all the balls in the air at the same time, it is nice be able to ask the companion to look for traffic, dig out an approach chart, set the transponder, tune in the ATIS, communicate on the radio, and help with the myriad chores that need to be done. Two benefits: it cuts the pilot's work load, and it lets the companion participate in the cockpit activity.
This entire experience has been a learning one for me, and it indicates that a pilot may not have to look any farther than his or her own spouse or flying companion to find someone to mentor in AOPA Project Pilot. Lois truly has become much more relaxed on business trips and participates actively in the pre-flight and in-flight chores. As for pleasure flights in our own Cessna 172, a new problem has developed. We now have to decide who gets to log the time when we fly together.
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