We're going to focus on working with control towers, but everything said is directly applicable to every other type of radio communication. Whether it is talking to ATC, ground control, or simply using the unicom at a nontowered rural airport, it all works the same.
You'd think that working with a tower would be the same from place to place, but it isn't. Towers have personalities. The personalities of the individual controllers blend together to give that tower a general "feeling," and that persona changes from tower to tower. Some of the busiest, like where I'm based at Scottsdale, Arizona, are among the very friendliest and work hard to help the pilot. Other towers go out of their way to let you know they are controllers and you aren't. The good news is that towers with an attitude are few. However, they do their jobs, and all we can do is work around them in the best way possible.
Air traffic controllers are people, just like pilots. And controllers bring their personalities, capabilities, and philosophies about controlling airplanes - and life in general - into the tower cab with them.