Aviation journalist Mark R. Twombly has been writing and flying for more years than he cares to admit.
I need a new watch. The one I've been wearing for the past 10 years is acting too much like the person who wears it. My watch is slowly but unmistakably losing the race against time.
Like me, each month it seems to fall behind by another minute. Every couple of months I grow weary of mentally compensating for the gap between displayed and actual time, and undertake the chore of resetting my watch.
The watch has traditional sweep hands plus two digital windows, each with a variety of modes. Resetting all of the various methods of displaying the time, then syncing everything up so I don't get confused over what I'm looking at and for, is a pain.
A watch may look sharp, and I think mine does, but when it comes down to it, a watch is only as good as its ability to keep accurate time. If it cannot do even that, what good is it? I need a new, accurate watch.
It must be large, because pilots wear big watches. And it has to be expensive, because pilots like to pay a lot for their big watches even though they may not be able to afford to. I know this because I sit around a lot of FBOs and see some major bling-bling walk by on the wrists of aspiring young professional pilots flying starter airplanes. How do they do it?
Judging by my unscientific survey I am one of the last living pilots to wear a watch with a face smaller than a wall clock. I need a new, big, gold, expensive, accurate watch.
I need a new personal digital assistant (PDA), too. The used one with the monochrome screen that I bought for $75 from a friend a few years ago has been doing a fine job of storing my address book, calendar, and a few other important bits of information. Now, however, it is acting too much like the person who uses it. My PDA is getting cranky.
When I put it in my bag and take it with me, stuff crushes the buttons and makes the PDA go crazy. The touchscreen never works right after that. I have to do a hard reset, recalibrate the screen, and restore the data. I need a new, crush-proof PDA.
The PDA also has to be able to retrieve weather radar, display METARs and TAFs, file a flight plan, do a weight and balance calculation, and order a sandwich I can munch on during the flight. It has to have a color screen and a camera so I can take cheesy, low-resolution digital pictures of my airplane and show them off to the people I meet at FBOs who wear big watches — which, as I've noted, is everyone. I need a new PDA.
I know this because whenever I get together with some friends who own big, expensive airplanes, they don't talk about their airplanes; they show off their latest cutting-edge PDA acquisition. Lately their technology interests have taken an ominous turn; they've moved into those awkward-looking PDA/cell phone combinations. Presumably, they can now order their sandwiches while calling for the fuel truck. I need a new PDA and a new cell phone, but I'll take them in separate boxes, thanks.
And I need a new GPS. We used to have two panel-mount GPS units in the airplane, until we bought more stuff and ran out of spare holes in the panel. It's like when I eat too much and run out of backup holes in my belt. We wanted a Stormscope, but there was no place in the panel to accommodate it. The solution was to remove an Apollo 360 GPS, relocate the standby attitude indicator to that spot, and put the new Stormscope in the hole previously occupied by the Apollo.
I was sorry to see the little Apollo go. The black-and-white screen was fine for the job, and based on a comparison with our other big, expensive GPS, it was extremely accurate. We used the Apollo to display special-use airspace and as a backup to our primary unit. It got bumped off the panel because half of our partnership didn't know how to punch the buttons to get to where they wanted to go.
Now we're down to one GPS receiver in the airplane (gasp!). If it suddenly went on the fritz we'd be forced to rely on our absolute last-chance standby navigation equipment — dual VOR receivers and indicators, and DME. I don't think navigating by VOR would constitute an emergency, but if it ever came to that some helpful vectors from air traffic control would be welcomed. I need a new GPS.
It should be portable because, as I mentioned, we have no more space on the panel. It needs to have a color screen because...well, just because. Oh, and it would be great if it also displayed the actual, correct time.
