Some students you never forget, but not necessarily because they were great students. While I’ve been fortunate to experience very few of these individuals, one CFII student from the late 1970s comes to mind. We’ll call him “Nope Man.” He was a nice enough fellow, but put him in an airplane and he’d argue, disagree, and make excuse after excuse—all without sufficient reason for doing so.
During one flight his recalcitrance peaked. While the specifics are difficult to recall, I remember him arguing about an approach technique I’d suggested. Finally, my frustration peaked and I said to him, “Excuse me. I don’t mean to be confrontational here, but you seem to argue with me about every point I make.”
He replied, “No, I don’t.”
OK, that was it. When we reached the flight line and exited the airplane, I said, “Look, I’m losing my enthusiasm for having you as a student—and here’s why.” I then explained it to him in my best Dr. Phil voice. Instantly, he went from being a person who could rub an entire continent the wrong way to one of the nicest fellows on the field. Then he apologized for his behavior. I accepted his apology, and our training experience was pleasant after that.
Did you catch the immediate reversal of Nope Man’s attitude when I hinted that I might not fly with him anymore? I’ll explain why this happened shortly. In the meantime, let’s examine why some students—typically post-private pilot students—demonstrate resistance to flight training and look at a few ways to cope with this behavior.
One common reason that students might resist their training involves difficulties or challenges they may experience at home or on the job. By default (and proximity), the flight instructor can become the whipping post for student frustration. In these situations, it’s relatively easy to pinpoint the reason for your student’s emotional disposition by asking a simple and direct question: It appears you’re frustrated. Is there a reason why? Mature instructors understand that life is sometimes messy, and people occasionally become frustrated. At least you now know that you aren’t the cause of your student’s frustration.
Then there are students who take flying lessons without any desire to do so. Yep, it’s true. I’ve had a few reluctant students who signed up for lessons only because their pilot-spouse insisted on it. These students can be passively resistant in the sense that they’ll tell you they can’t learn slow flight, stalls, or landings. Then they’ll try to prove it to you by resisting every attempt you make to teach them these skills.
When I suspect I have this type of unwilling student, I ask the pilot-spouse to give me the reason for having the nonpilot spouse take lessons. Often, the objective is to increase cockpit safety by having someone on board who can land the airplane in case of pilot incapacitation. If this is the reason, as it often is, I offer to focus the training on teaching the nonpilot spouse to land an airplane (or accomplish whatever objective is mentioned by the flying spouse). This strategy often makes everyone happy.
Finally, there’s the case of Nope Man—the ultimate, über-resistant student who could cause Dr. Phil to lose what little hair he has left. While I can’t possibly list all the possible reasons for Nope Man’s behavior, here’s an effective strategy for dealing with this type of individual.
In its most basic form, the type of resistance offered by Nope Man is nothing more than bullying. It’s an abuse of power—however mild, slight, or innocent it appears. Ultimately, the most effective way to deal with a bully is to call him out. No, I’m not speaking of going all kung-fu on your student. I’m only saying that you have to let this student know there’s a price to be paid for his behavior, and this price might be your diminishing enthusiasm for training him. The threat of being rejected by a respected member of his aviation clan (that’s you) is a powerful behavior modifier. Of course, you have to be willing—and able—to cease flying with him if his behavior doesn’t improve.
If you’re lucky, you’ll never experience a student who resists the training you offer. Train enough people, however, and the law of averages says that your luck eventually will run out. Hopefully these strategies will help you cope with Nope Man, or with individuals having similar dispositions.
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