Having just returned from AOPA’s regional fly-in in Colorado Springs, Colorado, I can honestly say that I didn’t find one spring in this wonderful town. Perhaps Rod needs a divining rod. I wasn’t disappointed because in my hood (Southern California), there’s no river in Riverside—much less a big bear in Big Bear. What I did find was another fun-filled day at an AOPA regional fly-in.
I’m not sure anyone could have asked for better weather than what we had at the Colorado Springs Municipal Airport. The temperatures were mild and the winds calm. The only white puffy thing in the air that day was the mushroom cloud of cigar smoke surrounding an old-timer in the parking lot as he exited his car—a Ford Humidor.
Since the City of Colorado Springs Municipal Airport rests at 6,187 feet msl, I was worried that I might be operating at only 80-percent mental power because of a lack of oxygen. I wondered if I could give the same safety speech at this performance level. The more I thought about, it the less I worried—mainly because I was operating at only 80-percent mental power. Somehow that satisfied me, so I moved on.
One Colorado instructor told me that he carries a portable oxygen bottle when giving flight reviews to lowlanders (like me). The moment he hears his students speaking gibberish on the radio, he puts them on oxygen. This often clears up the gibberish immediately. When it doesn’t, he knows he’s in for a long day. During my speech, he humorously held up a portable oxygen bottle. Since I was already down 20 percent, it was easy to ignore him.
Without a doubt, it’s the people who make these fly-ins special. You don’t need MTV or HBO (which isn’t an FBO with a TV) to be amused and enlightened if you enjoy pilots and their stories.
One fellow told me that he tried for years to get his wife, Joy, to fly with him—without success. The standoff held until she finally agreed to a glider flight. Unfortunately, his wife thought the towplane would simply tow them around town, and then back down to the airport. To her, a glider was a passenger car on a rope. Everything went well right up until the release of the tow rope. Ironically, at that moment, there was no joy in the cockpit because Joy was in the cockpit.
Another nice fellow approached me and asked if I could name the most important set of controls on an airplane prior to liftoff. Long ago I learned that, no matter what you say, you can’t answer these types of “ninja” questions correctly. Years ago I tried a similar ninja question on my instrument flight instructor, thinking I was privy to knowledge that he had been denied. He replied, “Well, I guess we both know what’s going to happen now.”
I said, “What?”
“You’re going to tell me the answer, and I’m going to pretend that I’ve never heard that in 50 years of flying.”
It turns out that I’m always hearing things at AOPA Fly-Ins that I’ve not heard in 46 years of flying. The answer to this fellow’s question was “the brakes.” Prior to takeoff, if something isn’t right, doesn’t feel right, or doesn’t look right, hit the brakes—and don’t release them until you make it right. Good advice, my friend.
One of my most enjoyable conversations involved a fellow who still had a working ADF in his panel, right next to his WAAS-enabled Garmin GNS 530W GPS. He wanted to know what he should replace the ADF with. I told him, “Nothing.” That got his attention.
I told him that the FAA is planning to eventually jack up all the VOR stations, drag them onto flatbed trucks, and tow these ancient carcasses to a VOR graveyard somewhere. If the cleaning lady at NORAD accidentally bumps into the master GPS switch or a hacker infiltrates the military’s GPS system, the only reliable electronic instrument he’ll have for navigation will be his ADF. If he still know how to use it, he’ll be able to navigate nearly anywhere in the world. If he carries a sectional chart and a plotter, he’ll be able to make his own crude instrument approaches “on the fly” for emergency instrument letdowns. The ADF is the only navigation instrument that the government, the military, the cyberterrorist, or the cleaning lady can’t keep us from using in an airplane.
Next year’s AOPA Fly-Ins have just been posted on AOPA’s website (www.aopa.org/fly-ins) (see “2016 Fly-Ins Announced,” p. 55). Hopefully, you can make at least one of these events. Believe me when I say that you’ll laugh, learn, and make some great friends.
Rod Machado handles “ninja” questions as a CFII, but demonstrates other martial arts skills in tae kwon do, hapkido, and Gracie jiu-jitsu.
Web: www.rodmachado.com
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