fly Well: To sleep, perchance to dream

Except not recently. On the return trip aboard a big ol’ jet airliner of Steve Miller Band fame I snoozed, didn’t booze, but felt jet-lagged. Legally I was good to go, but piloting myself to Montreal would have been crazy. I deferred my trip and took an FBO catnap. Pilots need sleep like every mortal, but especially when planning to fly.

President Ronald Reagan once quipped, “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.” To prevent you from catching 40 winks while you read this article, it is littered with nocturnal references—see how many you can put to bed.

Many airline jockeys complain about jet lag and regulations; FAR Part 117 refers to air crew duty hours but does not, to my mind, fully consider jet lag—which varies between individuals, is affected by age and general health, and changes from trip to trip. Don’t put your head under a pillow, this is important stuff. Traveling due north or south without crossing time zones does not cause jet lag, although spending time at altitude in an oxygen-poor environment will cause fatigue and headaches. Westerly headings are better tolerated than flying east. On commercial flights, set your watch to the destination time upon departure and sleep at the “right” time. Stay hydrated, darken the cabin or wear eye shades, and, upon waking, sun yourself by opening the window shade.

Our top-sheet topic is sleep hygiene. Spend the right time at nighttime in bed, do not defer getting horizontal, and avoid slothful starts to your day. Food impedes solid sleep; avoid chocolate, sugar-rich items, and heavy meals. Excessive salt dehydrates, demanding water consumption, which leads to bathroom visits.

Pilots need sleep like every mortal, but especially when planning to fly.In the Far East? Fancy a Singapore Sling to catapult you into dozy dreams? Think again. Too much alcohol can have the opposite effect, compromising sleep. At home, choose beige for your boudoir, drapes that extinguish daylight, and soothing light. Watching TV or working on a computer prior to sleep is counterproductive, as is doing any kind of work in bed. That room should be reserved for reading something that does not stretch your mind too much—maybe my old columns—sleeping, and intimate relationships. That old advice about not going to bed angry with your partner? One solution is to sleep on the couch. In truth, emotional tension sabotages slumber.

When booking hotel rooms, check online resources for bedbug reports (I use www.bedbugregistry.com). Hotel cost or star rating is irrelevant and the problem is becoming more widespread. Entering your hotel room, place nothing on soft furnishings until you’re certain this is a bug-free zone. To see them, close the drapes as, like vampires, bugs abhor sunlight. Peel back bottom sheets and look for evidence of infestation: blood spots, or dead or alive critters—and if present, don’t dare doze.

Let’s get down to discussing comforters: batting fills duvets, but snore-filled rooms will drive you batty. I may be gilding the lily here, but one step you can take for a better rest is many steps. A day filled with exercise leads to a dream-filled night.

Snoring jokes aside, you won’t be laughing if your AME diagnoses sleep apnea, requiring you employ a continuous positive airway pressure machine (CPAP) to support breathing. This serious condition is often avoidable by getting in shape—and don’t tell me round is a shape. Some rotund pilots say, “My wife Elle told me I don’t have a beer gut, it’s a protective cover for my six-pack.” Excess weight reminds me that “you snooze you lose,” because you will not be ZZ Top dog, and the resulting daytime drowsiness puts you at risk of motor vehicle and aircraft accidents. Or as has been said by Elle, “My husband woke me up with his snoring yesterday. ‘For goodness sake,’ I said, grabbing the wheel, ‘Are you trying to kill us?”