Unusual Attitude

Fortunately, in general aviation, getting along is seldom a problem because our trips are largely discretionary, and going on airplane journeys with people we already admire tends to reinforce our existing bonds of friendship.

But we don’t always get to choose our flying companions, and in these times of deep divisions and cancellations, the art of getting along for prolonged periods in close quarters—sometimes under pressure—when we’re tired or hangry can be a rare skill.

So here are a few suggestions from military and airline crews, as well as police and firefighters who don’t have the luxury of avoiding people they’d rather not be around.

First, set boundaries. If you don’t want to talk about politics, religion, or contract negotiations, agree to set those divisive matters aside at the outset.

Focus on the mission. Stick to standard callouts and checklists and fly with self-discipline. Most airlines insist on a business-only “sterile” cockpit below 10,000 feet, and you can extend that all the way up to cruising altitude if you desire.

If you’re feeling short-tempered or peeved, conceal it. Rise above. Let it go. Shake it off. Win an Oscar with your convincing portrayal of a calm, even-keeled, unflappable flier even when you don’t feel like one.

Extend common courtesies, even if they seem undeserved. Simple things like saying please and thank you can set a positive tone. If you know the other pilot likes peanut M&Ms, or beef jerky, or flavored fizzy water, take some along to share.

Avoid sarcasm, and don’t expect special treatment.

Don’t take the bait if you feel you’re being goaded. And don’t try to change other pilots by showing them the errors of their ways. You’re as unlikely to change their views on abortion, tax policy, or party affiliation as they are to alter yours, so just don’t try. There’s nothing to gain and much to lose.

Model the cockpit behavior you want to see. I flew with a pilot in a Cessna Citation who surprised me by deploying the ground flaps as soon as the main landing gear touched down. When we briefed the next leg, I said I’d deploy the ground flaps when the nosewheel touched down, and no sooner, to avoid a possible inadvertent pitch up. Point taken.

The things that irritate us often have more to do with style than substance. I recently flew a multi-day Citation trip with a fellow pilot in the left seat who kept pushing buttons and twisting knobs on the multifunction display even though that was my domain as the right-seat pilot/instructor. I found it annoying because, frankly, I’m kind of fussy about the MFD and I had it configured the way I wanted it. However, my fellow flier was preparing to fly the Citation as a single pilot, and he’d have to handle the entire avionics system. I suggested giving him some preparation for that next step by having him do it all when we flew together. I’d back him up, but he’d tune and talk on the radios, run the checklists, and perform all tasks as if he were alone in the cockpit, and that turned out to be a big confidence booster for him.

I once flew across the continent with a low-time pilot who had just purchased a CubCrafters Carbon Cub and needed some dual instruction. When we got to the starting line it became obvious we were poles apart politically. I told him I could buy an airline ticket home, or we could set world affairs aside for the time it would take to get to the other side of the country. We agreed to put aside punditry for the flight. When it ended, I had more than grudging respect for the new Carbon Cub owner. He worked hard, learned fast, and stuck with it throughout our flying marathon.

Pilots often harbor elaborate sets of pet peeves. Some insist on changing over to standard baro pressure at exactly 18,000 feet, not a moment early or late. Some insist on engaging the autopilot in vertical speed mode, others in flight level change. Some insist on reading the moving map in North Up mode, and others (like me) in Track Up. Some habitually ask air traffic controllers for shortcuts and seek to delay their descents by asking for pilot discretion.

Whether you agree with them or not, giving other pilots the benefit of any doubt is a good place to start. They may have reasons for doing things that have nothing to do with trying to antagonize you.