Empathy from those who have been there

For pilots, the hardest part of surviving an aircraft accident may come long after. Gus Hawkins knows this firsthand, and his experience inspired him to create a community of pilots who have faced the decision embodied in the group's name: Back to the Cockpit.

On May 2, 2009, Hawkins crashed his experimental seaplane. Nothing was wrong with the aircraft; he admits he had "just forged too many links in the failure chain to prevent my crash shortly after takeoff." His last memory before impact was seeing the tops of trees 150 feet below.

What happens after an accident is rarely talked about. Once the NTSB report is filed and the headlines fade, pilots often face unresolved questions: What did I do wrong? Could I have prevented this? Should I fly again?

These were questions Hawkins asked himself—and now helps other pilots work through. Founded in 2016, Back to the Cockpit operates with a simple and intentionally discreet approach. AOPA spoke with Hawkins in 2017, and he still follows the same process: reviewing NTSB records of nonfatal general aviation accidents, cross-referencing aircraft registrations, and mailing confidential letters to registered aircraft owners inviting pilots to reach out. To date, he has mailed 6,800 letters and about 200 recipients have contacted him directly.

Hawkins is careful in how he approaches people. "I want people to feel free to call, but I don't put any pressure on them," he said.

Many do call, seeking something they didn't realize they needed: a place to be heard. Some begin hesitantly—"I don’t even know why I’m calling,"—while others examine every detail. "What upsets one pilot might not affect the other at all. It’s extremely individual." And that individual process takes time. Hawkins knows this personally: After his accident, he spent nearly a year confronting what it meant. "The loss of confidence cannot be overstated."

Rebuilding confidence often requires confronting fear. “You keep asking why until you understand everything that happened." Hawkins recalled a conversation with a commuter-airline pilot who had to ditch his aircraft. The evacuation went as well as anyone could hope for—everyone got out safely. One passenger hadn't grabbed a life preserver, so the pilot handed over his own. While awaiting rescue, another passenger tragically suffered a fatal medical emergency in the water.

The pilot replayed the event endlessly. Hawkins asked him: "If God was flying your airplane, what would he have done differently?" The pilot realized he had no answer. Hawkins reminded him that while it's heartbreaking that the passenger died, the loss wasn't his fault. Pilots can’t prevent every outcome; they can only respond with the best judgment they have in the moment.

Another experience Hawkins points to is that of David Arnold, whose accident didn’t stem from weather, judgment, or mechanical failure—it was caused by something medical and invisible. From the tower, everything initially looked routine; until an undiagnosed brain tumor caused a sudden neurological impairment. Instead of taxiing back off the runway, Arnold attempted to take off and struck a chain-link fence. Arnold later chose to share his experience publicly in a personal account, and found Back to the Cockpit a place where he could talk openly about the confusion, fear, and loss that followed.

Those conversations are always one on one. Back to the Cockpit isn’t a public forum or formal support group; it doesn’t offer medical advice. It offers a space to talk, reflect, and decide what comes next.

Not every conversation leads to flying again. "Sometimes it just means helping someone find peace," he encouraged. "Even if peace means never flying again."

For many, though, the desire to fly remains. Hawkins often encourages pilots to work with instructors to safely recreate scenarios that shook them, helping rebuild confidence in the cockpit.

In recent years, Hawkins has noticed a growing need for pilots to talk to each other, not just to him. He recently set up a Discord channel, an online discussion platform, where pilots can connect anonymously or by name. Nearly 60 people have joined so far.

"There’s no money involved,” Hawkins emphasized. “It’s just about helping people."

That help matters, even as pilots age and medical exams become more fraught. Fear of disclosure can keep pilots silent—not just about accident trauma, but also about physical health, stress, and anxiety. Many worry that saying the wrong thing could ground them, so they say nothing at all. Not addressed, that silence compounds.

That's where Hawkins comes in—listening as pilots critique a flight, dissect an accident, or circle the same questions. Commercial airlines have structured post-incident programs. GA does not. The danger isn't admitting fear; it's pretending it doesn't exist.

And that's the quiet urgency behind Hawkins's work today. As more pilots confront aging, medical uncertainty, and rising awareness of mental health risks, the question of what happens after an accident is no longer a niche. What matters most is that decision to fly—or not to—is made deliberately, not out of fear, silence, or pressure to pretend everything is fine.

If you'd like to learn more or connect, visit Back to the Cockpit.